Hello all, it has been a while since I really sat and typed away at the keys in a fury of inspiration. I haven’t been my usual blog self, full of words and photographs, but I with a new year comes new inspiration, instead of this dull sense of melancholy drifting from one day to the next.
Lately, I have felt like a dull penny forced through too many slots over too long a time span, instead of a shiny new copper one. All I have found myself wanting to do is read and binge Netflix because I am so bored with everything else. Only, bored is really not the best word. It’s more like my depression kind of took over there for a little bit, and it still is there, chipping away at me, making it so very hard to *do* anything that is not mandated.
There are a million reasons for these feelings: Donald Trump will be our President. I almost lost my job. My best friend is across an ocean. My brother will be moving out soon for a new city. And those are just the things that directly affect me… not to mention all the tears shed for those who have left us in 2016.
(I fully, utterly admit to breaking down in the parking lot at work, tears causing my phone screen to blur upon learning of Alan Rickman’s death.)
Life has changed, and in 2016 they have not been the changes I would have asked for, if given an opportunity. But at the same time, that is selfish. Friends and family are not here solely to make yourself feel happy and secure. They have their own lives. People have a right to choose their leaders. I do not have the right to overrule them.
Knowing this, I will work on being a little softer and optimistic in 2017. I will wear my favorite party dress tonight, and tack glitter onto my eyelids. I will drink peach champagne and let string lights glisten. I will tack on hope to every evening. I will try to return to finding joy in the tiniest of things and saying thank you more often. I will not be ashamed to ramble, and I will not fear being heard.
Happy New Year. What are you hoping for 2017?